Ready or Not!

Breakfast at Russ' before Kindergarten Screening

Kindergarten... this is the word in the Reilly Household lately.  How can it be that we are looking at this already?  Have 5 years really gone by?  Is Emma really ready to go to Kindergarten?

As a mom, you hope that your child has been learning.  You hope that what you have been teaching at home has made an impact in some way.  You hope that 5 years of reading bedtime stories, rhyming in the car, and playing counting games has paid off.

As a "teacher mom", you hope that using teacher language has done its job too.  You hope that you've taught good listening skills.  You hope that you've taught her to be accepting of all others.  You hope that you've taught her to be responsible.  You hope that you've taught her to follow directions and to be respectful.

As a mom, you hope that your child uses the manners that you've encouraged her to use.  You hope that your child will be a kind and generous person.  You hope that your child will be independent, enthusiastic, and motivated.  You hope that she will always do her best and believe in herself.

Ready or not?  I think about all these things and ask,"Is she ready for Kindergarten or not?"  It's a big question.  It's the beginning of a new journey.  It's the beginning of her growing up.

So is she ready? Without a shadow of a doubt, I know I can say yes.  Over the past 5 years, she has become such a wonderful little lady (or at least I think so).  I am so proud of her and who she is becoming.  I can only imagine where her life is going to take her, and I can't wait to watch her journey.

The Little Things

I always thought that I appreciated the little things in life, but I'm starting to realize that I haven't fully understood what the little things are.  With the death of my sister, I have started to look back at what I considered little things.  I used to think they were things like going to my parents for dinner and having a day off to help in Emma's Preschool classroom.  Don't get me wrong, these are little things but now they are so much more.

The little things are the things that I will miss out on with my sister.  They are texts that I will miss sending.  They are conversations that I will miss having.  They are trips to the Meijer Gardens, Critter Barn, and Aquatic Center.

The little things are reading a bedtime story, blowing kisses goodnight, and listening to your 5 year old say a prayer that makes you giggle.  They are showing up at your parents' house and seeing a familiar vehicle in the driveway.  They are wrapping an ugly red vinyl purse for Christmas, hiding it under the tree, and laughing hysterically when your she eagerly opens it to discover that it's the red purse that you've passed back and forth for years.

The little things are the cards that you find in a drawer that say, "Happy Birthday Sister" or "You're turning 1, Nephew".  They are taking the kids for pictures and sweating as we chase them around trying to get the "perfect" picture.  They are blowing out your birthday candles with all 3 three kids sitting on your lap, and they are sitting on the beach at the cottage watching the 4th of July fireworks explode above our heads.

These are just some of the little things that I know I am going to miss.  These are just some of the little things that I now treasure.  These are just some of the little things that I love.

 "Appreciate the little things"... hmmm... I think I'm only just beginning to discover just how many little things there are.

Forever Changed

March 22nd, 2012... this date should mean nothing more than just another day; just the 2nd day of spring; or just another record breaking March day.  To me, that date will forever mean something.  It will never be "just another day".  It will never be just March 22nd.


Emma was in Chicago with my mom.  She was eager to head downtown on the commuter train in the morning, ride in a taxi, and explore the American Girl store.  She had decided that she wanted a doll that looked like her and had on a purple outfit... "something kind of fancy" as Emma would say.  My mom had been planning this for weeks, and the day was going to be perfect.

Kaiden and I decided to play in the backyard before dinner while we were waiting for Sean to get home from work.  I had picked up a rotisserie chicken from the store along with some quick veggies, so I wouldn't be stuck in the kitchen with the gorgeous weather outside.  Kaiden had figured out how to go down the slides on his own and was hammin' it up like he usually does.  Sean soon came home from a long day at work and Kaiden started to yell "Dada! Dada!".  He had left early that day so we hadn't been able to see him yet.  The pure joy on Kaiden's face was so precious.  The laughs and smiles were abundant and the evening looked promising.

Dinner was delicious and just what we needed.  We had time to sit together, eat,  and discuss the happenings of the day.  It was a rather routine conversation:  How was your day; Anything big happen; How were your students; How did Kaiden do at daycare today; Have you talked with Emma?  It was just a normal evening.  It was just another regular day in March.  It was just March 22nd.

Sean's fire pager went off, which is pretty typical.  He grabbed his things and was off to assist someone in need.  I wiped the chicken and broccoli bits off Kaiden and headed upstairs to give him a bath.  His hair had a nice coat of chicken in it and it was obvious he had been playing outside.  It was "bath night".  It was just supposed to be "bath night".

Kaiden was splashing in the tub... my phone rang... my heart stopped... my world changed... my sister had been shot.

Words that I never imagined I would have heard.  Words that I never imagined I would have to say.  From that moment on I was forever changed. 

In a whirlwind of events, I somehow managed to get Sean home from his medical call and get to the hospital.  As I drove to the hospital the prayers and tears were flowing equally.  I had to have faith that everything was going to be okay.  I had to have faith that my sweet sweet sister would be fine.

As I rushed to the information desk, I had to say it.  I had to say, "My sister was shot".  The poor guy behind the desk had to try to translate what I was trying to formulate into words.  He then led me to a large set of double doors.  Double doors that normally mean you're going to get checked out for a big scrape, ear infection, or hurt wrist.  This time the double doors opened and I saw my dad standing there with tears streaming down his face.  This time I had to walk down the hall to face a horrible truth.  This time would change my life forever.

I drifted between the family room, the hall, and the room that was filled with doctors, nurses, and specialists.  Outside Jamie's room, family and friends gathered to support each other and hold each other up.  The doctors were determined to save her.  The doctors were determined to make things right.  They were determined to prove to us that all our praying was strong enough to keep her here with us.

After what seemed like forever and yet only a moment, we were told that they couldn't undo what was done.  They told us that they couldn't save my sister and that we could come in to be with her for her last moments.  As we stood there as a family one last time, the tears rolled down our cheeks.  As we prayed, we held her hands and let her go.

March 22nd, 2012... will never be just another day.  It will always be the day that my life changed forever.